Loss

Loss

I remember sobbing on the shoulder of my dear friend. Maybe the people around me thought I was having an awesome time in God's presence, we were in a communion service after all, but the truth was I was so hurt. At that moment I didn't believe that God knew how much this loss hurt. I didn't believe.

I just wanted to complain. I wanted to blame someone for my loss, for my pain. Little did I know that opened the lines of communication with the only one who really knew my heart.

One August 31, 2014 I moved out of the orphanage I was living in for almost the last 3 years.I had two months to prepare for this transition, but no amount of time could get me ready. I had seen some girls through middle school, we were attached to each other. I knew exactly how to put them to bed, make them laugh, and they knew exactly how to hug me. But for whatever reason was given to me, it was time to leave. A semi had crashed into the intricacies of my heart.

In my first confrontation with God , in that service, I began to pray, "God let me believe that you died to heal even this kind of pain. Help me believe that the creator of the universe knows what is going on. And even more so help the girls believe it too. That they may know that they have not been abandoned yet again."

So here I am, 3 and a half months later, still believing. He has spoken soft somethings into my heart and has shown me glimpses of his providence. I'm expecting so much from Him, and he never disappoints.

Stay tuned to see what God is up to in Monterrey, Mexico with the girls He put in my life.

"For with God all things are possible."