Remember when Jesus invited the religious rich young man to
sell all his belongings, give it to the poor and follow him? Even though this
young man had followed the law, he couldn’t just give up his life…all he
knew….all his comfort…all his time. Why would Jesus ask that?
A few days ago I had found her laughing on the bedroom floor
claiming she got weak and feel. “Ok sure,” I thought ask I asked her to get up
and get ready for school. Then later that day I found her thrown outside
crying, claiming she lost control, feel and now could not walk. I laid her to
rest, but the weakness escalated so quickly that night she was hospitalized
with a rare disease that attacks your nerves. Now I found myself in a sleepless
night, changing bed pans as my girl lay in paralysis
The beeping of the heart and lung tracker is what annoyed me
the most. “beep beep beep…” Every three minutes her voice escalated in pain as
she begged me to move her from side to side. Oh but the pain, the pain in her
voice, in her expressions as tears rolled down her eyes, the pain is what was
unbearable. The other 4 patients in the hospital room could not rest over her
shrieks. Why did I have to see this? Why
did I have to hear her cry? She was fine
just yesterday. She was laughing. Why did this have to be so hard?
I stared at her as tears rolled down her eyes and thought
she is just waiting…waiting for her caregiver to bath her, take her to the
bathroom, move her, feed her…
In that moment Jesus was calling me to lose my life. Not
just for fun. Not because he is mean and wants me to fail some kind of test.
But because he wants me to find true life in Him. The kind of life that is fulfilled in him. Not an ok kind of life because everything is
ok. I had gone to church every Sunday,
been the good girl, even moved to another country to care for orphans, but
Jesus wanted more…He wanted it ALL. This was not the time to demand my rights.
Although my girl is still recovering and some nights at the
hospital are still tough, Jesus is with us. He has brought the kids at the home
to pray for her, my girls to encourage me when I’m tired, and given me his arms
to rely on as I give him all I’ve got. I
want to say yes, because I don’t want to miss what that rich guy in the Bible
missed…and for what? Oh yeah, his wealth… 
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